Reservations, Doubts & Decisions

Teach For America has been one of the most difficult decisions I have made. I am certain that I have cried more in Atlanta during Institute (TFA training) than I have in any other state. I cried about leaving Oregon and my support system, and then I cried about feeling cowardly; I cried about leaving Loren, and then I cried about wanting to come back to Oregon; I cried about deciding to return to Oregon and then again about the idea of working a restaurant job once I returned; I cried about lesson plans, and then about my students shouting the word "faggot" at me from across the cafeteria. I have done so much crying, and I'm sure there is more to come both in Atlanta, Georgia and in New Orleans, Louisiana once I move.

I've thought so often about leaving Teach For America, and in the end I have decided to stay.

If I return to Eugene, I would be with my partner and friends, but I would also be in a job that was not in social justice work, and in Eugene as a non-student. 

Leaving my partner behind, and continuing our relationship across thousands of miles is heartbreaking, but not as heartbreaking as how mean and unkind I would be to everyone in my life if I was working in an emotionally unfulfilling job in a college town that I have walked many roads in.

Teach For America (Yes, they capitalize the "For" in all their literature) is the right move for me, but it's also very difficult.

Yesterday someone told me I "looked like a real teacher."

I think it was the tie.

My "real teacher" tie (with sharks)